You cannot control circumstances. You never intended to control circumstances. You intended to discover unconditional love. You intended to discover a way to feel good, no matter what, because you have the facility: you have the power: you have the ability to focus.

-Abraham

The dedication, emotions, suffering and heightened awareness of EVERYTHING only briefly expresses the magnitude of ‘stuff’ swirling around when caring for a loved one suffering from a chronic or terminal illness. We go into automatic mode; seeking every possible way to ‘fix’ the ‘problem’ presenting itself. And this is not just a ‘problem’, this is a loved one. A spouse, child, cousin…the list could go on because cancer knows no demographic. It is not isolated to ‘doomed’ individuals. In fact, cancer is a ‘dis-ease’ that is created by the body…it occurs ‘naturally’ in essence.

Cancer occurs when there is an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a given part of the body. This is not a bacterial infection contracted from food that can be eradicated with medication (although this is a situation that CAN be life threatening too). Cancer is a dis-ease that occurs, due to numerous variables, from within the body. Peace can be found if we understand that we cannot cure nature. What role we can play is to identify the imbalances in the body; detox and support them; in hopes that homeostasis will allow the body to return to its’ naturally balanced state of good health.

Dis-ease is not a math equation to be solved because there are numerous contributing variables. Putting this into practical application; you may by trying a simultaneous approach to eradicating cancer. Diet, Cannabis Oil, and chemotherapy are being approached because this is what you have read to be most effective for X type of cancer. You spend day in and day out; researching, cooking, going to appointments, and fitting in work. Always with the thought of ‘we have to beat this’ as you crash onto your pillow…way past your bedtime. Our expectations provide us with the message, ‘if we just DO we will be rewarded’. When we ‘expect’ we have a strong belief that the outcome we desire WILL happen, in exactly the way we envision it.

It’s as if you have a telescope to the future. You are striving, always looking forward. What happens when you are always looking ahead? You trip and fall on a stick that is on your path. You weren’t looking JUST ahead; appreciating the path, noticing your surroundings (like the little stick). You are DOING everything you MUST do to get to the end of that telescope. It is my belief that the culture of DOING instead of BEING leads to decreased satisfaction in life and unrealistic expectations.

When dis-ease is placed on ours (and our loved ones) paths, it is available to us to become an active, compassionate participant in their healing process and transition. This involves TRUST and FAITH in the process; an understanding that suffering is temporary and we will be guided to therapies that ease suffering and transition. Setting realistic expectations also allows more time in the presence. Too low of expectations and you will be washed away by grief that accompanies loss of hope. Too high of expectations and you will internally combust because of the lack of control you realize you actually have.

Somewhere in the middle is a nice place to be; an observer of our situation, a daily presence to appreciate the present. You see, we cannot control the disease, we CAN observe its’ daily participation in the body. We can celebrate small wins and be there with loving support on the days that are filled with more pain. A small win may be a few extra pounds on our loved ones. An afternoon of laughter and reminiscing is immensely rewarding when we are able to be present to joy. Maybe a day without pain medication is a prayer of gratitude we extend. Energy goes where attention flows, so when you feel yourself being overwhelmed with sadness or grief…change your energy pattern. Move around, stop and think of 5 things you are grateful for in the moment. Celebrating what IS working draws in MORE gratitude to our lives.

Be present to your personal health. Our physical health and level of energy reflects on those around us, especially our children and loved ones. Grief is evident in our posture, lines on our face and even the color of our complexion. Don’t doubt the light in your eyes; it can be seen when they’re lit up and when they’re dimmed because of lack of energy or hope.

Every day counts. Each day we wake up is a win. Remember you are supported; by Aunt Zelda’s, your medical community, family, and most importantly…yourself.

5 WAYS TO FEEL EMPOWERED & MANAGE EXPECTATIONS.

Give yourself a dose of laughter: Laughter really is the best medicine. A few minutes of laughter can move your physical being from a state of depress to a energized one. According to Sondra Kornblatt, author of ‘A Better Brain at Any Age: The Holistic Way to Improve Your Memory, Reduce Stress, and Sharpen Your Wits’ (Conari Press, 2009), there are numerous physiological effects of laughter including:

• Lower blood pressure
• Increase vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood
• Reduce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline
• Defend against respiratory infections and frequency of colds.

Try to keep things as normal as possible: There is comfort in routine, especially when dealing with so many unpredictables. Everything that you can automate or cut out (that is unnecessary) do so. If the resources are present, find a way to have laundry done, meals prepared, house cleaned. WHATEVER allows you more time to rest and appreciate the moment.

Celebrate Small Improvements: Every day is the present and when we stay there, in the present, we can celebrate small improvements both on the doctor’s pages and in our personal lives. Energy flows where attention goes. When we consciously take time to be grateful for these small improvements we start to receive more to be grateful for.

Incorporate healing foods & clean eating practices: Sugar feeds cancer cells, limiting and removing sugar provides additional support for the body, which requires more effort on the organs to detox the negative effects of consuming sugar. Every type of cancer is associated with an acidic environment in the body. Providing your body with dark leafy greens, berries, and healthy fats allows your body to become more alkaline which promotes healing. Reducing chemicals allows the body to exert less effort on detoxing and more effort on healing.

Supportive Practices: Just as our bodies need to be able to get rid of what is no longer serving them, they also need support. Most people like to be hugged by their loved ones, that is support. Think of these practices as giving yourself a big hug! Essential Oils can be used topically, internally and for cleaning (to name a few). Some of their purposes serve to ease stress, promote sleep and encourage deep, restorative breathing. Deep Breathing exercises provide stress relief and overall wellness. When we are experiencing stressful situations, our bodies are living primarily, in our sympathetic nervous system (our fight, flight or freeze response) and the body does NOT have the same ability to repair and heal. In fact, digestion becomes impaired, your body is more likely to store fat yet you may also experience malabsorption. Deep breathing allows our body to enter our parasympathetic nervous system where rest and recovery can occur. Start by simply observing your breath. Are there certain times you are holding your breath? Try breathing into the sides of your lungs as you inhale and exhale just as long as you inhale. Practice a 4-4-4-4 breath. Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4 and pause for 4. If you cannot start with 4, start with 3. You will be amazed how quickly you can increase this number!

Meet the Blogger…

Danae Fentie is a certified Health & Detox Coach who empowers others to regain the vibrancy they were born with. Diagnosed with an auto-immune disease at the age of 22, she has made it her personal mission to heal herself and pay it forward by guiding and empowering others. Her approach is to recognize the individual and provide specific recommendations to promote balance and sustainability.

She offers a variety of modalities like nutrition programs, yoga, meditation, visualization and tools to create a holistic approach to supportive healing. Aunt Zelda’s and Danae work together to provide additional support for both the individual and family. Look forward to more posts about nutrition, mindfulness and living with compassion.

missnutrish@gmail.com

www.nutrishnonamission.com